Funeral Mass

Last Saturday there was a Mass for Flora's son Matteo, there we continued to see Gill in acting mode. He looked as if he was enjoying the attention. At one point he was walking down the isle and then remembered something, he clicked his fingers and turned around. I looked at Cindy, we couldn't believe it, it was like he was planning a wedding or some fun event.

St Francis Church was beautiful, it was next to St Francis school where Matteo attended. The streets were tree-lined and the place had a small college town feel - it must have been a nice place for Matteo. The priest who conducted the mass was a short round man in a brown monk's habit and had a very warm and calming voice. He almost broke down part way through the mass. The people we were standing with were all crying. There were so many people there. I had never been to a funeral mass before, but I have to say it was very nice. The music and things that people said about Matteo were beautiful. It was a very nice and spiritual way to say good bye to Matteo, and if there were no extraneous circumstances about his death, I truly believe that most people who attended would be able to move to the next stage of the grieving process. But the devil was at the mass too - Gill got up and talked about himself, how his grandfather had died 20 years ago, his father 22 months ago and now Matteo. He babbled on about airplanes because Matteo loved planes, but his emotion was so forced. This wasn't about him, it was about Matto and Gill's self-centered mind just couldn't comprehend that.

In the gym behind the church they had food and drink. Flora looked better than the day before, she seemed please to see so many people. There was an imaginary line in the room between Flora's family and friends, and Gill's family. At one point Gill's sister spoke with Flora. We heard afterwards that Flora had told her that her brother had killed Matteo, Gill's sister replied that she knew that. Yet there he was in his own happy world, mingling with people like it was a cocktail party. Cindy wanted to find Gill's mother so she could ask her if she knew what her son had done. I never heard if she did. We did hear that Gill's mother told Flora not to feel guilty. We have no idea what that meant, or what story Gill told her.