This made me laugh

I don't know who originally created this, but it made me laugh when it arrived in my e-mail today.

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the tv remote because they refuse to walk to the tv and change the channel manually..

3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their asses!

5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.

6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.

8. When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?

Santa Fe

We went to Santa Fe for the Memorial Day weekend. It was warm and fun. We discovered some very nice restaurants and drank a lot of very nice wine.

We had planned to take the bikes down as we are in training again for the Colorado MS150. This year the ride is from Denver to Colorado Springs and then down to the Royal Gorge. The minimum I need to raise this year is $300, so please sponsor me if you can.

Now at home and back to reality - I'm struggling to get back into the swing of work. I want to be in Santa Fe, melting glass, making art, making a living as an artist and enjoying the bars and restaurants. I want to be in a cute adobe house with bright tile and surrounded by wild desert flowers.

My Birthday

Today is my birthday. My husband forgot and left the house this morning as usual. My msn page wished my happy birthday, so at least someone remembered.

I got a pretty funny joke link today -
Storewars

I get so many joke e-mails

I get so many joke e-mails, I think I'll start posting them here...that way I can start to clean out my huge e-mail inbox.


Restroom signs:

Friends don't let friends take home ugly men Women's restroom; Starboard, Dewey Beach, DE

Beauty is only a light switch away. Perkins Library; Duke University, Durham, NC

If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let's all get wasted together and have the time of our lives. Armand's Pizza; Washington, DC

Remember, it's not, "How high are you?" it's "Hi, how are you?" Rest stop off Route 81, West Virginia

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. The Bayou; Baton Rouge, LO

No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her shit. Men's Room; Linda's Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill, NC

At the feast of ego everyone leaves hungry. Bentley's House of Coffee and Tea; Tucson, AZ

It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere. Written in the dust, on the back of a bus; Wickenburg, AZ

Make love, not war. Hell, do both, GET MARRIED! Women's restroom; The Filling Station, Bozeman, MT

If voting could really change things, it would be illegal. Books; New York, New York.

If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Congress! Men's restroom; House of Representatives, Washington, DC

Express Lane: Five beers or less. Sign over one of the urinals; Ed Debevic's, Phoenix, AZ

You're too good for him. over mirror in Women's restroom; Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hills, CA

No wonder you always go home alone. Sign over mirror in Men's restroom; Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hills, CA

and the all time favorite,

A Woman's Rule of Thumb:
If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it.
Women's restroom; Dick's Last Resort, Dallas, TX

Doctors & Guns

Doctors:
(A) The number of physicians in the U.S. is 700,000.
(B) Accidental deaths caused by Physicians per year are 120,000.
(C) Accidental deaths per physician is 0.171.Statistics courtesy of U.S. Dept of Health Human Services.

Now think about this:

Guns:
(A) The number of gun owners in the U.S.is 80,000,000. (Yes, that's 80 million..)
(B) Accidental gun deaths per year, all age groups, is 1,500.
(C) The number of accidental deaths per gun owner is .000188.
Statistics courtesy of FBI.

So, statistically, doctors are approximately 9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners. Remember, "Guns don't kill people, doctors do."

FACT: NOT EVERYONE HAS A GUN, BUT ALMOST EVERYONE HAS AT LEAST ONE DOCTOR.

Please alert your friends to this alarming threat.
We must ban doctors before this gets completely out of hand!!!!!

Out of concern for the public at large, I have withheld the statistics on lawyers for fear the shock would cause people to panic and seek medical attention.
A concerned citizen...

Can't Complain

1 US gallon = 3.785 litres
In the UK 1 litre of petrol/gas costs 0.856 British pounds
3.785 l x 0.856 = 3.24 British pounds per US gallon

At today's exchange rate (1 British Pound = 1.89380 US Dollar)
that equals $6.14 a gallon!!!!!

That's why is cost my brother 100 pounds to fill is car up at the weekend!
Or, more scary is I complained when it cost $42 to fill up last week, using this equation it would have been $112 - so I guess I can't complain!

The Stress-Dream House

I had a stress dream last night.

I don't specifically remember having it before, but when I woke up I had the feeling I had had similar dreams as the place I was in looked familiar from other dreams. What was nice was my cat of 16 years who died over a year ago was there, so it was good to see the cute fur ball. In my dream I was very protective to him, exactly as I was when he was alive. In the dream we were at a hotel, not a chain but more a converted house in a local seaside town. I was carrying him down to breakfast with no harness or cat carrier...something I would never do as I know that would stress him out too much. When we get down to the breakfast room I look down at my chest and I'm naked; I think it's just my upper body. It's not one of those dreams where people are staring at me, in fact I am not aware that anyone has even noticed me. In my dream I wonder if I should got back to my room to finish dressing...I feel as if it might not be worth it.

Obviously an insecure stress dream. Am I insecure about my job, worried people will notice I am not good enough? Or am I taking risks that I shouldn't? Or am I not paying attention to more important things and need to reassess priorities?

Didn't even have time for a shower

I didn't like today at work.
Not sure I can cut it if it's going to be this stressful everyday.
How do you walk out on a job if you work from home?

Jan. 24 worst day of the year

Well, it wasn't a bad day for me. It was busy and pretty frantic at work. I was sucked into the laptop vortex from 7:30am to 6:00pm, I only emerged to get a sandwich at noon and a green tea at 3pm. I missed the almost 70 degree weather outside.

Overall it could have been a lot worse. I picked up the handle of a pan that had been in the oven yesterday. Last night I thought I had burned the skin on my left palm and spent several hours desperately grasping ice packs in an attempt to stop the pain; it was a balance between searing heat pain from the burn and pain numbing frozen pain. I fell asleep high-fiving an icepack on my pillow, either I was going to blister from the burn or lose a finger to frost bite. I woke up this morning and my hand looked a little bit branded in places, no pain, no blisters and no swelling. I've never seen anything like it.

Flood and Tornados

So here I am in Arizona. It hasn't stopped raining since I arrived on the 2nd. The state brags 360 days of sunshine, well I think I'm here for the 5 days of clouds, rain and severe weather. Yesterday we were under flood watch, I went to bed with the rain lashing against my hotel window...I awoke early morning to thunder and lightning. During lunch we were caught in torrential rain and hail. In the late afternoon when I thought the weather was subsiding the tornado warnings started, the funnel cloud sightings increased and the skies darkened. This is really not what I expected from a place people call "a desert".